If you and your partner are getting engaged, and you want to propose with a ring that holds some notable history and value, there is nothing better than your family heirloom engagement ring. It makes your proposal more personal and romantic. Your significant other gets a beautiful, treasured heirloom ring, and you do not have to use your savings to buy it.
Proposing with your inherited ring depends upon you and your partner. Some people want to make this extra-special day more memorable with something that holds significance in their lives. Several reasons make the heirloom ring an ideal engagement ring. However, a lot of reasons also make it unsuitable.
Many women adore their heirloom engagement rings, but some brides tell their other half that they do not want it. However, it does not mean proposing with an inherited engagement ring is not a good idea – give it a little more thought. And if your significant other has already told you that she loves your family ring and wants it, you are all good to go.
Things to Know Before Proposing With an Inherited Ring
1. Know the Backstory of the Ring
Before you ask for permission to take your inherited engagement ring, learn about its backstory/history. Knowing how the heirloom ring came into your family and who first wore that ring can add more meaning to your proposal. You can also figure out the parts of the ring which are most special to the family. It will help you when you go for resetting.
2. Ask Both Sides of the Family about the Inherited Ring
A family heirloom engagement ring can be from your partner or your side. Do not overthink about choosing which side of the family heirloom ring should come from. And if you have a lot of engagement rings to pick from, choose the one based on the tradition/history of the family.
If you do not have an heirloom ring, you can use another piece of jewelry and reset it into an heirloom ring, for example, diamonds from an heirloom necklace.
3. Do Not Pressure the Family into Permitting You to Take the Inherited Ring
When it comes to the etiquette of the inherited engagement ring, pressurizing the family to hand over the engagement ring is the last thing you will want to do. Remember that the family has this ring for a long time now, and it will take some time for them to make a decision. So, give them a few days to think and try not to push them for permission.
You surely would not want them to feel forced but rather happy about passing down the loom.
4. Do Not Assume You will be Given the Inherited Engagement Ring
Do not assume that heirloom ring becomes your just because you want to propose with it. You must take the permission of the former owner. Plan a meetup with your family member. And if you do not already know them, get to know them first. It will make asking for the heirloom ring more personal. Let your family members know that the heirloom ring is as crucial to you as them.
5. Have the Ring Cleaned
After taking the permission to have the inherited engagement ring, you want to take it to a jeweler. He will check if any stones are missing or loose and accurately clean the engagement ring. He will also ensure that the diamond is correctly placed in the setting. Moreover, he can fix any damages or problems and make your heirloom engagement ring look brand new.
6. Always Ask the Former Owner if You Can Make Changes to the Heirloom Ring
When receiving an inherited engagement ring, most people want to have the ring altered or reset, which can change its look. For the former owner, these changes can be a touchy matter. So, it is better to follow the etiquette of the inherited engagement ring and take permission from the family members before making these alterations.
Have a conversation with the former owner (your mother or father) to avoid any hard feelings about resetting the ring.
7. Make Sure to Say Thanks
Receiving a family heirloom (such as an heirloom engagement ring) is a grand gesture. So, you would want your family to know how grateful you are for having such a valued heirloom ring passed down. Writing a thank-you note to the former owner is a great idea. You can also give them a gift as a way of saying thank you for making your proposal notable and more meaningful.
Things to Consider
To help you make the right decision, we have rounded up some reasons why you need to think a little more before deciding and finalizing your engagement ring.
Heirloom Ring Might Not Be Her Style
It may be possible that your inherited ring is not your partner’s style. For some brides, the style does not matter as the ring holds a significant value for them. But for others, the case can be the opposite.
She May Want Her Own Engagement Ring
An engagement ring is a symbol of starting your life together. A person uses it to ask for the hand of his love in marriage. So, an engagement ring means different to different people, and some brides want to have an engagement ring of their own that depicts their own love story.
She Might Not Show any Affection with the Heirloom Ring
It is essential to consider the feelings of your partner about the ring. Know whether it has any significance to her or not. If your other half does not value your heirloom ring as you or your family do, it will not mean much to her.
Inherited Rings Can Mean a Lot of Pressure
Heirloom rings can be fraught with pressure, particularly the ones that are from the groom’s family. It feels extra precious and comes with a lot of pressure to love it. The pressure is because of the risk of offending the groom’s family if the bride doesn’t like it.
Some Tips to Propose with an Heirloom Engagement Ring
If you have decided to propose to your loved one with an inherited ring, you may still have a few confusions – for example, would your partner love it or not. For this purpose, we have come up with a few tips that will make sure it is a perfect proposal.
- Before you propose, you need to have the ring ideally resized. It must be newly cleaned and insured. Make sure it’s ready for her.
- You must be excited about the proposal. But before that, you need to have a frank conversation with your partner. Let her know that it is okay if she is not entirely happy with the engagement ring and can buy an engagement ring of her choice. Give her room to make her feel safe to speak up. And when she gives her opinion, try not to be upset or offended. Moreover, try to have some contingency savings ready if your fiancée wants to go for a new ring.
- While you may want the proposal to be a surprise, it is important to get permission from the family. You have to make sure that everyone is happy with you using it without any problem. Most likely, your family will be excited for you, but you would not want to cause any issue if your brother or sister had their heart on the same piece of ring.
It can always be a hard decision whether to propose your partner with an inherited ring or not. It is a good idea for many people to go with an heirloom ring because of the great significance and history it holds. However, this decision should be mutual because your partner is the one who will wear it forever.
And last but not least, always take permission from your family members (most importantly, your mother or father) before using it for your proposal ceremony.